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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22928836">The Horror of Our Red Love</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/foxjar/pseuds/foxjar'>foxjar</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Persona 5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anal Sex, Blood and Gore, Bottom Kitagawa Yusuke, Cannibalism, Held Down, Horror, M/M, Pining, Post-Canon, Top Kurusu Akira, Victim Aroused</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 06:49:31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,147</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22928836</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/foxjar/pseuds/foxjar</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Yusuke takes it upon himself to explore Akira's newly discovered Jail.</p><blockquote>
  <p>"You shouldn't have come alone," Shadow Akira says, and Yusuke can't help but agree, regretting his decision to come despite his good intentions. "You shouldn't have come at all. Do you know what this means?"</p>
  <p>If he could, Yusuke might shake his head. He opens his mouth and all that escapes is a soft groan, unable to whisper even a quiet "no."</p>
</blockquote>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kitagawa Yusuke/Kurusu Akira</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>149</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Writing Rainbow Red</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Horror of Our Red Love</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Freeform: literal eating of (red) hearts. This gave me an idea of the noncon variety, so I wrote it. If anyone wants this gifted to them, feel free to mention so in a comment.</p><p>This is based on the concepts of Shadow Joker and Jails in Scramble, but I've only seen a few trailers and played the demo, so there aren't any spoilers.</p><p>Title is inspired by the Ludo song.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Yusuke chose to venture into Akira's Jail alone, and although it hasn't been one of his best ideas, it was something he felt he had to do. He never entertained the thought that he could reason with Akira's Shadow enough to escape if it came down to it, but he thought he could learn more about him. Explore to his heart's content without raising the suspicion of the other Phantom Thieves.</p><p>Akira has been acting strangely around him as of late, and it could have nothing to do with the existence of his Jail or it could mean everything. It took Yusuke a long time to notice the change in him; he figured his friend was stressed. Tired. Akira's text messages have become shorter over time, less frequent. Yusuke wasn't able to pay his phone bill for while, which made staying in contact with the others more difficult, so he never held that against him, even when he did end up with service again.</p><p>None of the little signs really dug into Yusuke until one incident at Leblanc, when the group met up to spend time together. Yusuke's arm brushed Akira's as they sat down and Akira shrugged away from him. The motion was so fast, like a reflex, and it almost seemed as if he was in pain with the way his body jolted. Sometimes their shoulders bump and Akira has had a similar reaction, but Yusuke never thought about it much. He couldn't remember if Akira had been like this before, back when he was living here in Tokyo.</p><p>"What is your deal, man?" Ryuji had asked, slamming his elbows on the table, maybe harsher than intended. "You're so damn fidgety."</p><p>Yusuke started looking at Akira in a new sort of light then; Ryuji was right, and it wasn't just Yusuke imagining it. Akira was different; something about him was off.</p><p>Despite the accusation, Akira didn't try to defend himself. He just smiled, as if that would end the conversation and everyone's worry. The light outside was growing dim and somehow that smile said, "We don't have much time together. Don't waste it focusing on something as trivial as this."</p><p>The mood of the room changed as Yusuke caught up to speed, the molasses of his attention span finally catching on. Was he a bad friend for not realizing sooner that something has been bothering their leader?</p><p>"Yusuke's weird but he doesn't smell bad or anything," Ryuji continued. "He hasn't been digging in garbage again — I don't think so, anyway."</p><p>It was at that moment that Yusuke realized the implications, dawning on him like the sunrise after the longest of nights. Akira isn't uncomfortable around anyone else; it is only Yusuke who makes him shy away, only Yusuke who makes him tremble.</p><p>But why?</p><p>It was this that led Yusuke to Akira's Jail, to the depths of his heart that remain hidden. Maybe it was a moment of boldness, but since Akira's aberrancy seems to have been caused by Yusuke, he thought he could fix it. Discover the cause of it, at least — find some little nugget of truth inside the confines of his Jail.</p><p>It was ignorant of Yusuke to assume he could slink into Akira's Jail without him knowing, especially considering the newly found rift between them. Not only because Akira is the leader of the Phantom Thieves — devious and strong, unwilling to bend against those he views as harmful — but because he must have sensed Yusuke's presence from the very start. A ripple, a wave, a surge.</p><p>Akira's Shadow agrees with him, foot on Yusuke's chest, pinning him to the ground. The front of his boot digs into Yusuke's neck and he can feel the distinctive curl that he knew back when Akira had led them to change, to progress as the Phantom Thieves. He never imagined it could hurt so much to be at the mercy of his friend's Shadow, to feel the bite of betrayal even though he knows it is not him. It isn't the real Akira.</p><p>The Shadow's hair is a flaming orange while its skin is ashen, a dark gray like the dust that covers Yusuke's fingers after a sketching session with charcoal. Despite the ache in his chest, he is in awe at the beauty set before him, at this hidden side of Akira he never knew existed. Both sides, remarkable. Mesmerizing. Even when the heel of Akira's boot crushes further into his chest, he's thinking about how inspiring he is.</p><p>"You shouldn't have come alone," Shadow Akira says, and Yusuke can't help but agree, regretting his decision to come despite his good intentions. "You shouldn't have come at all. Do you know what this means?"</p><p>If he could, Yusuke might shake his head. He opens his mouth and all that escapes is a soft groan, unable to whisper even a quiet "no."</p><p>Akira steps back, letting Yusuke breathe for a moment before he sits on his hips, hands clutching at his shoulders, pulling at the fabric of his Phantom Thieves attire. A gloved finger slips into the zipper and pulls it down, the smallest of fractions, baring just a bit more of Yusuke's chest.</p><p>"It means that you are mine," Akira says before tugging the zipper down the rest of the way, with such fervor that it rips off entirely. The tearing sound is so loud, a rush in Yusuke's ears, and yet all he can do is watch the glint of the silver zipper still in Akira's hand.  It's strangely cold here with his body exposed and he almost asks for it back, as if he could simply zip himself back up, even if this Akira decided to have mercy on him. His mind is here and yet not here, ogling Akira's hand and yet dreading what he might do next.</p><p>Lips are on his neck now, sucking at his skin, and he tries to shrug away from the painful touch, but Akira is steel above him. His hands dip into his ruined costume, exploring the curves of his chest, and something about it all makes Akira moan against his throat. Yusuke can't imagine what about all of this could be pleasurable; the harder he struggles, twisting his knees and pushing at Akira's shoulders, the harder he bites at his neck, tongue lapping at his throat. As if he is delicious, delectable, a treat for the ages.</p><p>Akira sits up to tear the last bit of Yusuke's outfit in half, remarking on his lack of underwear: how much it pleases him, how he intends to take advantage of the vulnerable position it has left him in. He would have torn them off if there had been any, regardless, but it wasn't even Yusuke's choice in the first place. And yet somehow the implication makes him flush — the idea that he chose not to wear underwear, chose to be assaulted like this — makes his hands twist the lapels of Akira's coat harder, anger swelling inside him.</p><p>Could Yusuke hurt his friend? If he can momentarily incapacitate him, could he escape the Metaverse?</p><p>The thought gnaws at him, tearing at his conscience. When he looks up at Akira, he sees his golden eyes staring down at him, feels his thumb run across his nipple teasingly.</p><p>Beautiful, so beautiful: the red, the gold, the ashen glow. Yusuke would cup his cheeks if he could. He would contort his body with his hands, exploring with his eyes and heart, seeking out the perfect pose for this Shadow Akira to assume. But there is no perfect pose, no perfect composition — not with Akira.</p><p>Yusuke can't hurt him; the mere implication makes his eyes water. He can't harm his leader, his friend, but he'll die here if he doesn't. The fact that this isn't the real Akira doesn't matter — won't it cause a mental shutdown to the Akira outside of the Metaverse, the one he loves?</p><p>"I'm not going to kill you," Shadow Akira says, words slurring. He licks his lips, and Yusuke can see the elation rippling in his eyes. A gloved hand dips into the torn remains of Yusuke's costume, pawing at him, wrapping his fingers around his soft length. "I told you that you are mine."</p><p>This is something else entirely. Yusuke's body freezes, tears causing his vision to blur for a moment. He can't wipe at his eyes, not once Akira has his hands pinned above his head.</p><p>The walls almost look like they're pulsating now, shuddering and red. It is a grotesque sight and yet somehow beautiful, too; it's something else for Yusuke to focus on as Akira strokes him, attempting to coax his body to arousal. But it doesn't work, and although he can feel the motions, the smoothness of Akira's glove on him, he feels no pleasure. The frustration of Akira's Shadow radiates above him as he squeezes at him, hand moving faster; Yusuke can feel the heat of his body, the anger welling up inside him as his attempts fail over and over.</p><p>He just sees the red wall, undulating like a living thing. In a way, its allure isn't something he wants to paint; instead, he would rather be it: watching, unassuming, unhurt.</p><p>Although he knows this Akira isn't the real one, it still hurts. It all hurts.</p><p>"I can't kill you," Akira says, sitting up on Yusuke's lap. When he sighs, he almost sounds human; his voice loses that static tone that Shadows always seem to have, and for a brief moment, Yusuke's eyes flicker back to him. "Don't you see? You are my treasure."</p><p>Akira is pulling open his own shirt, baring his skin to Yusuke, whose eyes can't help but linger. The slopes and planes of his chest are all the same as the real Akira's, from what Yusuke remembers when they've visited the bathhouse together; it's only the color of his skin that has changed. But he has never looked this closely at Akira's naked body, never stared too long.</p><p>Never touched.</p><p>As his body begins to stir, coiling up within him, he wishes he hadn't looked. That one look led to now, to his downfall, and even more than regret, he feels a yearning, deep inside.</p><p>There is no perfect composition he could paint when it comes to Akira because he is perfection itself. The untamed curls of his hair, the homey smell Yusuke has come to associate with him, and even the occasional snort when he laughs; the loyalty he instills, his refusal to bend even in his darkest moments, the snippiness in his voice when his patience has been stretched to its breaking point.</p><p>Yusuke's favorite thing about Akira is the ease of his smile. He has been grateful, so grateful to be on the receiving end of such an expression, time and time again. Through it all, Akira has amazed him with that simple gift of understanding and compassion.</p><p>It is that very affection that is Yusuke's undoing, and although he doesn't reach out to touch Akira's chest now, it doesn't matter. The Shadow is smirking down at him, nothing like the charismatic grin Yusuke has come to know; he tells himself that it pales in comparison, but it's more than that.</p><p>That smirk scares him.</p><p>Akira leans over to kiss him as his hand begins its assault again, this time without its glove. It's electricity that shoots through Yusuke's body now, every touch a pleasurable agony. And it's all through this Shadow of his friend: the hands that violate him, the voice that murmurs to him.</p><p>"You should have fought harder when you had the chance," Akira says, and Yusuke feels even more damned than before as his hands are held down yet again. But this time, it isn't Akira's hand around his wrists. It is a Persona holding him down, a transparent blue creature with wide, yellow eyes, vacant and uncaring. Yusuke twists his hips, trying to shake Akira off, but the Shadow just laughs.</p><p>The moment Akira releases his half-hard arousal, Yusuke gasps. Seeing Akira perched over him is a constant torment, reminding him of all the mistakes he has made leading up to this point, but there is this one moment of relief where he thinks it might be over. Maybe the Shadow has decided to release him or to torment him in another way — but no, Akira merely bites at the tip of his remaining glove, pulling it off with his teeth. Then he's licking his fingers, all while still watching Yusuke. He can see the spit glisten on his hand, oddly mesmerizing until Akira moves his hand between Yusuke's legs.</p><p>"No." Yusuke's voice is low when he's finally able to speak; he says it over and over, but his plea is ignored.</p><p>After being used for so long over the course of his life, Yusuke finally started feeling like his own person again after their forays as Phantom Thieves. His art, his hands, his love — all his own, and yet here this monster is, parading in the skin of someone so precious to him, threatening to steal that security away.</p><p>"It's because I want you," Akira explains. "I want you so badly, have always wanted you, and there was nothing I could do about it."</p><p>A finger presses inside, twisting at his insides, and it burns as the Shadow forces another beside the first.</p><p>"Until now," Akira continues, curling his fingers inside of him. "I'd touch myself when we talked on the phone, and you had no idea. You never did. And then you lost phone service and I couldn't hear your voice for months; all I had was what was welled up inside my head, and I was sad and I was mad."</p><p>Akira moves his hand faster as he speaks, ramming his fingers into him. With every touch, every time Akira presses inside him, Yusuke tries to shift his hips away. His body is begging, pleading for it to stop as he tries to squirm away, but there is nowhere he can escape to. No one to save him.</p><p>His erection has ebbed away, but that doesn't seem to bother Akira this time. If anything, he seems to view it as a sort of game, exploring him with his fingers — and then he hits a spot deep inside of Yusuke that makes him moan. Pain and confusion spiral throughout his body, but there's that small bit of pleasure, too; a hint of what is to come.</p><p>"More than anything, I wanted you. So that's exactly what I'm going to take."</p><p>A flicker of relief passes through Yusuke once Akira pulls his hand away, despite knowing better. It's not over yet; it has only just begun. Then he can feel Akira's arousal against him, slipping as he miscalculates just how much pressure he'll need to force himself inside. Yusuke holds his breath because he doesn't know what else to do — the red walls no longer help to capture his attention, not when there's this much pain — and when Akira finally manages to press inside, he bites his lip before he screams.</p><p>There's blood in his mouth, and Akira kisses him, licking at his wounded lip, sucking at the blood. He rocks his hips into him, and every thrust is worse than the last, ripping through him. He tries to look somewhere, anywhere else, but there's just the Shadow above him, moaning as Yusuke is violated over and over again. His wrists ache from trying to twist away, but he never makes any progress. He is simply moving through the motions, telling himself that it will end soon. He will be free.</p><p>All the while, Akira's Shadow is crooning at him, degrading him. "You don't really want me to stop. You're feeling so good, after all, aren't you?"</p><p>Yusuke tells himself that Akira is wrong, but a flicker of doubt rushes through him; every time he brushes against that spot inside him, his body jolts, yearning for more. It hurts, and yet each time he experiences that glimmer of pleasure, his body thinks that this is when the pain will finally stop. Just this next time, and the next — if he can lose himself, maybe he can endure it.</p><p>But he doesn't wish to lose himself and he doesn't want to endure it. He feels weak, so weak, for the way his body is reacting. He opens his legs more, making room for Akira; he angles his hips up toward him, guilt clenching inside his chest every time Akira notices. Praising him, telling him how good he is; how Yusuke feels just like he has always dreamt of.</p><p>Yusuke never wanted it like this. Not with a fake; not so soon after discovering Akira's feelings, and from his Shadow, of all things. In another world, far from this one, he would have been elated to find out that Akira desired him just as much as he did. But now all he feels is the stretch, the pain, and the sheer humiliation. Akira's hand strokes him again as he fucks him, pre-come coating his cock — a spotlight to showcase his embarrassment for all to see. He's never felt friction like this before, squeezing at him, unyielding no matter how much time seems to pass. If it keeps up like this, along with that spot inside of him that makes his mind run blank, he won't be able to last much longer. If he could, he would keep that from his aggressor, but his body has other ideas. His knees ache, sweat dripping down his legs.</p><p>It is Akira who comes first, filling him up, still rocking into him through his orgasm. The moment never seems to end, especially not when his hand squeezes Yusuke's cock tighter, hips thrusting into him even faster than before. It is as if Akira has lost any semblance of humanity, taking his pleasure from the man he claims to love, all while treating like a toy. The worst part might be that this is what sends Yusuke over the edge, the mix of pain and pleasure. As his body shudders, the coil within him unwinding, come spurting onto his stomach, he thinks he might deserve this. All of this.</p><p>But that's not right. He hasn't come this far, hasn't endured all of this suffering, just to succumb to such thoughts.</p><p>Yusuke won't break now; he cannot. He refuses.</p><p>Even as Akira kisses him again, sloppy and wet, breath hot against his face, he feels defiance build up inside him. His body aches and part of him just wants to curl up and sleep, but another part of him wants to fight. More than anything, he wants to see the sunrise again, to paint the hues of the morning sky; to eat all of his favorite foods; to sleep once more in the place he calls home.</p><p>He wants to see Akira again — the real Akira — and this fake can't keep Yusuke from him.</p><p>And yet the Shadow still laughs, wiping the blood from his lips.</p><p>"You really don't understand, do you?" Akira says, and something about his voice sounds almost sad. "You really are my treasure."</p><p>He slides the palm of his hand down his own chest, smearing flecks of blood, and Yusuke can almost feel the erratic beat of his heart. Then he grabs one of Yusuke's hands, snatching it easily from the creature that has so dutifully kept him restrained, and places it over his heart.</p><p>"And do you know what I've wanted to do with my treasure?" Akira sighs, sucking in a deep breath. "What I've always longed for?"</p><p>Their fingers are threaded together now in a mockery of affection, but Akira doesn't mention the scowl on Yusuke's face. He has other plans, it seems, and it's the strangest sensation when Akira squeezes his hand tightly before using his own knuckles to puncture his chest with a sickening crunch. Yusuke grimaces at the sound — how could he not be experiencing a tremendous amount of pain? — but Akira just leads his hand inside to wrap around his still-beating heart. He wrenches it from his chest and presses it to Yusuke's lips, still thumping in his hand.</p><p>There is so much life in this one organ. Blood no longer courses through it, no longer sustains it — whatever kind of blood Shadows happen to possess — and yet Yusuke still stares in wonder at the hole it left behind. It oozes blood, trickling down his chest before dissipating in a puff of smoke.</p><p>"Taste it," Akira demands, "and we will never be apart. You'd like that, wouldn't you?"</p><p>Yusuke can feel its heat against his lips, scorching him. He doesn't wish to find out whatever it might mean to be entangled with this entity for eternity, so he turns away, refusing the gift of the beast. Scorning the ultimate offering.</p><p>But Akira isn't mad, not this time. Instead, he merely grabs Yusuke's nose, depriving him of oxygen until he has to open his mouth, gasping, and it's then that Akira forces his heart into his mouth. The blood is hot in his throat, flesh tough as it is pushed against his teeth, stringy bits of gore swirling on the tip of his tongue.</p><p>Akira doesn't have to ask him to swallow; Yusuke forces it all down, preferring life to choking on a vaguely human heart. The symbolism of the act strikes him — of sharing such an intimate part of someone, of what that might mean — but even as he thrashes at his captor with his free hand, his eyes grow heavy. He feels his hair being ruffled and patted lovingly, but it is no comfort. The only thing that finally allows him to relax is the fact that he made it; it's all over now.</p><p>The final words Yusuke hears from Akira's Shadow is the very thing that he has come to dread:</p><p>"I love you."</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Was it a dream?</p><p>Yusuke's body is sore, legs aching when he stretches them, but it's nothing compared to what he had felt only moments before. It was utter agony that had torn through him, not only physically but mentally, as well.</p><p>He pulls the blanket up to his chin, but it doesn't keep him from shivering. The bedding beneath him is set out on the attic floor of Leblanc, and he remembers that he was spending the night at Akira's. The futon is drenched with sweat; every inch of the thick blanket is damp.</p><p>Although he doesn't remember coming here, he supposes that doesn't matter. He eases onto his knees, then up onto his legs, clutching at the bed for support.</p><p>On the bed is Akira, sitting up, staring at him. With the darkness of the room encasing him, Yusuke almost forgets where he is, and that the real Akira would never hurt him. His heart is thudding in his chest, the only sound in the whole room until the bed creaks as Akira leans toward him.</p><p>"You were mumbling in your sleep," he says, voice so unlike that of his other self that it shatters Yusuke's heart. "You sounded so scared. I tried to reach out to you, but —"</p><p>Akira's hand brushes his wrist and Yusuke jumps back. The floorboards groan beneath his feet and he can feel the tears prick at his eyes. Yusuke remembers how Akira has been shying away from his touch, and he clenches his fists at the thought that the situation has reversed. How could he ever tell Akira about the atrocities that his Shadow committed, whether or not it was a dream?</p><p>Yusuke doesn't want to be touched — not by anyone, especially not Akira. Maybe the warmth of another person will always send his mind reeling, back to that inescapable hell.</p><p>He creeps down the stairs to the bathroom, hands on the wall to steady him. The darkness of the tiny room feels oddly safe and secure, and he has to keep reminding himself that Akira won't hurt him — not now, not ever. And yet there's that full-body ache, twisting his muscles in knots; he can't help but ponder the possibilities.</p><p>Then he feels something trickling down his thigh and his eyes water at the strangeness. He doesn't turn on the light, doesn't investigate, for he fears what reality might show him.</p><p>But when he leans closer to the mirror, hands clenching the rim of the sink, he sees it behind him: Shadow Joker's glowing yellow eyes, watching him. His hands wrap around his waist, slithering up his chest like tendrils, and he understands now what eating that heart had meant.</p><p>The moments tick on. The Shadow remains, curling up against him; a forlorn lover, refusing his scorn this time.</p><p>Yusuke understands: it is a horror — and yet so beguiling — to be haunted by such love.</p><p>It is his burden.</p>
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